Por Zaiza Souza Vaccarezza Miranda
Half past midnight, Violet was tossing and turning around in bed, unable to sleep. She felt sleep creeping up at her, but she couldn't allow herself to succumb, her anxiety was electrifying, palpable in the air.
Her mother always told her to sleep early this time of year, or else she wouldn't be able to bear the consequences. Her aunt on the other hand, used to tell her to see the night through, especially these days of the year, the moon was especially bright and breathtaking, the winds wispy and howling, singing to the dancing trees, tall and robust, watching over any and all who dare enter the forest.
Violet's emotions were in an incessant battle over control of her actions. A toss was curiosity taking a hit, a turn was fear. Her body ached, it felt like her bones were breaking, her skin burning, she couldn't scream so pain flowed down her eyes.
To the outside eye, it looked like she was merely having a bad dream, with the occasional twitch and tear. When the clock struck 3 in the morning the pain subsided, and there was a subtle voice in the air. She could hear something calling her name, in a warm and welcoming voice, luring her towards the woods.
The battle seemed to calm, and it was made to believe that curiosity won, her body sprung out of bed, quickly covering herself with a cloak, she marched to the window, swiftly climbing down, lightly but intently.
Violet's whole being seemed to float, with a lightness she never felt, the blood red of her eyes glowed underneath the moonlight, her hands were almost transparent. Her legs stronger than ever, started running as soon as the wispy wind hit her face, every whistle was a stride, she was faster than the wind, and lighter than a plume.
She could hear steps coming from far away, but nothing could bother her anymore, all that mattered was the woods, their scent, the winds, the dirt beneath her feet and the freedom in her lungs. As she was coming to a clearing, everything seemed to lead her towards the center, the trees danced as if pointing to logs set down at the middle, the wind inviting her to lay there, at the focal point of the woods.
As she laid, shadows surrounded her tranquil figure. Voices emerge, singing an unknown tune, which sounded much like a lullaby, in a foreign tongue. The soothing atmosphere allowed Violet to dream, transporting her to a completely different plane of existence. All around her flowers in bloom, black dahlias, bearded irises, midnight ruffle hellebores, queen of night tulips and midnight mystic hyacinths. Such beautiful and deep flora. The trees that populated that place could be identified as maples, ash, walnut, oak, and beech trees, making the forest-scape eerie and dense, and at the same time peaceful and calming.
She found herself looking for something, a thing or place which she's never been, nor known. Walking through the winding paths, and crooked roads, she arrives at a cottage, hidden away behind fallen trees and a small lake. Opening the door led to an ample living space, hearth fireplace, with a huge cauldron filling the open space. A faint smell of roses and star anise traveled to her nose, she was compelled to sit by the fire and wait, a wanting that she couldn't pinpoint but one she welcomed. Footsteps were nearing, an immense and overwhelming feeling of satisfaction came with them. Violet couldn't help but smile, her heart was racing and she was happy, weirdly so, but so incredibly content.
A Woman, whose appearance changed with Her steps, one step maiden, another one mother, next one crone, hounds following behind her, as She closed in the fire shook as in reverence to Her presence.
"Child, what do you believe brought you here?"
Violet thought for a moment, a couple humorous replies came to mind "my legs" being one of them, the Woman, smiled, as if She could hear.
"Curiosity, ma'am, I wanted to see the world, through my own eyes, you see".
"Interesting, an investigative little one this time..." She paused, analyzing Violet's face and features. "You have beautiful red eyes, child, i believe they aided you in this conquest"
A puzzled look came upon Violet's face, her hands tracing her eyes, curious, afraid and incredulous.
"What could you mean ma'am? I have my mother's eyes, black ones".
"You are right little one, you have your mother's eyes, and she has her mother's eyes, and so on and so forth. You see, you came from a line of very strong women, whose eyes can see what others can't even phantom".
"You mean, that's how I got here? Because of these eyes?" Violet couldn't help feeling frustrated, these eyes that gave her so much trouble throughout her life, now were giving her a new path, a new outlook on life.
"Please let go of such thoughts my child, your beautiful eyes are not at fault for people's hatred, neither are you. People with weak minds and souls prey on those whose soul and mind shine ever so brightly" the Woman said petting her hound which had nestled on her lap. Violet's puzzled eyes made the Woman speak again.
"And your line's souls have a very unique and blinding glow, I could see you coming from miles away, as I did your mother".
"What do you mean by my mother? She's so dark, her eyes don't have any glow left to them"
"Well, you see, that's the point. She lost it, her glow, her spice, her spark. If I'm not mistaken it was around twenty eight springs ago."
"I'm twenty six, so couple years before I was born... That equals to around the time my birth father came into her life... Well, that makes sense".
"Yes, yes... That man was nothing but trouble, it isn't up to me to tell you this, so I won't. But Rose suffered quite a bit during the time he was around" Pausing and reminiscing the Woman then continues "Rose had such a beautiful color to her, much like her name, a vivid rouge of courage emanated from her every move."
"What about me? Do I emanate anything?"
"A scent, more than a color." Her and the hounds sniffed the air, a gust of wind carried Violet's scent their way "A curious mixture indeed, fresh rained on dirt, tulips, and a faint burning smell, like a campfire" A smiled crept on Violet's face, feeling reassured she questioned on.
"Well ma'am, that's beautiful and all, but what am I doing here?" a deep laugh echoed through the place the hounds fixed their eyes on her and the fire danced her way.
"That's for you to find out, I'm the crossroad you face, you have to chose a path forward"
"Could it be that I'm being given a choice, for once?"
"That's the jist of it" She noded and smiled, allowing the other hound to go lay by Violet “In this place, my child, you are free to roam, to feel, to know, to choose. We would all appreciate it if you could take the time to get to know thyself, to meet thyself and to love thyself. A trial of sorts, one we all went through at the peak of our curiosities.”
Violet was incredulous, a chance, a choice, and most importantly time, away from hurt, to figure herself out, amid nature, with great company. She took a moment to close her eyes, to breathe in and out, to smell the surroundings, to feel the cottage’s warmth, the Woman’s warmth, the hound’s warmth, their breathing, their chest movements, the up and down from the lungs working.
“Ma’am, if you would allow it, I would like to meet myself, to heal myself, and I’d love to get to eventually love myself too” Violet allowed herself to spill her thoughts, along with her tears, and her heart.
With a bright smile the Woman spread Her arms, and a gust of wind turned into smoke, the fire grew, the hounds went back to Her side. Violet’s eye’s shut tightly for what seemed like a second, and when she opened them again, she was back to the clearing, where she laid, surrounded by the shadows which sang to her, all of them now with open arms and bright smiles, said in unison “Welcome sister”.
Violet’s life flashed through her mind, so fast it seemed like a white blank slate, laying there surrounded by warmth and welcoming, she let herself weep, and howl, her hands clasped tightly on one another, above her stomach, she couldn’t believe her eyes, ears, herself; ‘a chance, I will definitely give it my best shot’ she thought to herself, rubbing the key pendent necklace which sat neatly on her chest. Taking a deep breath, she extended an arm to her sisters, welcoming them as they welcomed her.
“Hail Hecate”
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